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Saturday, May 12, 2012

First Parent the Child in You- Swami Sukhabodhananda

Parent the child in you first

Swami Sukhabodhananda

Teach yourself and parent yourself for there is a child in you, which needs to grow up.

Then you can empower your children also. Be like a player; when the opponent takes the ball, he goes after it like a game with a challenging attitude. Life is like a game. Play it wisely and enjoy it. Treat problems like a challenge. In the midst of a challenge, your body, mind and sprit should be alert and alive. One should be more enthusiastic in the midst of a problem, like a player.

If you study the life of powerful people, you will realise that they knew how to convert their hurt or humiliation to their benefit in a pro-active way. Hence, it is imperative for parents to imbibe in the growing children, the art of being pro-active and not reactive. This is a very important value to be inculcated.
Those children to whom the art of being pro-active is not taught, reaction becomes a habit even for insignificant incidents in life and such children start majoring on minor things.

One person, who took part in one of my workshops at Mumbai, got married to his fiance after about eight years of courtship. Once, after four months of getting married, the husband reprimanded his wife for waiting for a bus at the bus shelter late at night. The husband was concerned about the welfare of his wife and therefore scolded her for standing alone at the bus stop and that too late in the night. The lady, got so upset, that as soon as she reached home, she locked herself in a room, consumed poison and committed suicide.

The above is a real incident from the life of one of my students. If reaction is your habit, you start majoring on minor things. So, it is very important, that parents teach children how it is a healthy asset to be pro-active and how it is a liability to be reactive. This should be taught with examples and the best example is in the parents walking their talk.

Another important dimension that a parent should teach children is to make them understand that just putting 100 percent effort is not enough in life.
In the Indian culture, we say ‘Prayatna’ (effort) and ‘Prarthana’ (prayer). Both are necessary. One may put in 100 percent effort but the final result depends on a factor called grace. 

Despite 100 percent effort, finally what does the magic is a factor called grace. The atheist only believes in effort. There are some people, the so-called religious people, who believe only in prayer.

You need to amalgamate both effort and prayer. The moment you understand that there is a factor called grace, then you become sensitive to help from the invisible hand. So this is an important value you should sow in your child.