Osho On relationships ~ Love. Hate. Separation.

 

In all relationships, nobody is responsible for misery.

Just the very nature of a relationship is that it turns sour at a certain point.

It is neither you nor the other who is responsible for creating the misery, but both are suffering immensely.

And the nature of the mind is such that it goes on clinging and hoping, even hoping against hope that perhaps tomorrow things will be better, that it is only a passing phase.

You go on somehow consoling yourself.

You go on thinking that the other will understand, but it is not the fault of the other.

The other is also waiting for you to understand. And it is not your fault either.

So there is nothing to understand, you have simply to see and recognise that a relationship as such is bound to end up in a boring, miserable suffering.

The moment it starts happening, if you are alert you will separate ... not condemning or complaining about the other because nobody is really doing anything.

It is the relationship’s very nature that it cannot remain the same as it was before the honeymoon ended.

It cannot be the same after the honeymoon; the whole world has changed.

And as days pass, things that you were dreaming start becoming clear to you – that they were only dreams, they don’t have any reality.

Both feel frustrated, and both try to throw the responsibility on the other, so that instead of love, fighting becomes their only relationship.

But the problem is that the man or the woman goes on clinging even though everything is going towards hell.

The reason for clinging is the fear of loneliness.

It is better to be miserable but with somebody, than to be lonely – because when you are lonely you have to face yourself.

And unless you are prepared for a deep meditation, and to see your inner being and transform your loneliness into aloneness, you are going to cling even though it is miserable.

And that’s what you were doing, that’s what many are doing.

Separate peacefully, separate with respect towards each other; separate in such a way that you don't become enemies, that at least you remain friends.

Separate without hate.

Remember the person you have loved at least deserves not to be hated.

But if you go on clinging too long, all love is forgotten, all beautiful moments are forgotten.

All that you can remember is misery and misery and misery – everyday misery.

Then love turns into hate, and then everything is poisoned.

Then you cannot separate even with grace, and after separation, you cannot even think of friendship.

Osho ️ 
CHAPTER 30. THE PATH GOES ROUND AND ROUND
The New Dawn

Shared by Ravi Nandwani